A Tuesday evening, not long ago
I just spent 40 minutes rewriting an email.
Not because it was complicated — but because I was terrified of sounding stupid.
I deleted “just checking in” three times because it felt too passive. Then too pushy. Then too vague.
By the time I hit send, I felt like a fraud. Again.

This wasn’t about an email. It never is.
It was about me. Not feeling smart enough. Likeable enough. Enough, full stop.

I’ve been second-guessing myself for years — in conversations, in decisions, in how I show up in the world.
I’d walk away from meetings replaying every word I said. I’d apologise for things that didn’t need an apology.
I didn’t call it low self-esteem. I called it “being careful.” “Being polite.” “Not wanting to get it wrong.”

But let’s call it what it is: I didn’t trust myself.
And if you’re always questioning everything you do, how can you ever feel free?

What finally helped me break the cycle? Coaching.

I didn’t go to coaching to “fix” myself. I went because I was exhausted from pretending I had it all together.
And here’s what I learnt — the problem wasn’t me. It was the script I’d been repeating in my head for years.

Here’s what shifted:

• I learnt to catch the inner critic in real time. That voice that said, “Why would they take you seriously?”? It’s not truth. It’s habit. Coaching helped me recognise that voice and answer it back.

• I stopped needing outside approval to feel OK. For the first time, I built self-worth that didn’t collapse the second someone frowned or disagreed with me.

• I started making decisions without spiralling. Not impulsively — just calmly. Confidently. Like someone who actually believes in their own judgement.

Self-esteem isn’t about arrogance. It’s not about never feeling doubt. It’s about learning how to back yourself even when things wobble.

If you’re tired of living like your confidence is on a knife edge, please know this:
You weren’t born doubting yourself. You learnt it.
Which means — with the right support — you can unlearn it too.

Coaching gave me the tools. The voice in my head still shows up sometimes — but now, I don’t let it run the show.

Need help finding the right coach for you?
Start here: Love2Coach – Find a Coach That Fits You
No pressure. Just the first step towards backing yourself — for real.