Do you feel like your days are controlled by everyone else, but never by you?

I used to wake up every morning with the best intentions. 

Today would be different, I’d tell myself. Today I’d finally get ahead. 

But by 9 PM, I’d collapse on the sofa, utterly exhausted, scrolling mindlessly through my phone, wondering where the entire day had vanished.

If this sounds like you, you’re not alone. Many mums and busy women feel constantly pulled in every direction  – family, work, home, errands  – and by the end of the day, we’re left wondering: “What did I actually do today?”

I remember one particular Tuesday afternoon. I’d been “busy” all day. 

Yet when my partner asked what I’d accomplished, I couldn’t name anything meaningful, and somehow still hadn’t done the one thing I’d promised myself I would.

That moment was my wake-up call.

The Good News: You Can Take Back Control

Here’s what I’ve learned: feeling overwhelmed isn’t actually about having too much to do. It’s about not being intentional with where our time and energy flow.

The good news is you can take back control of your time and energy. And it starts with something beautifully simple – seeing where your time really goes.

Let me walk you through the exact process that transformed my chaotic days into something calmer, more purposeful, and  – dare I say it  – enjoyable.

Step 1: Track Your Time (Yes, Everything)

I know, I know. You’re already overwhelmed, and now I’m asking you to add another task? Trust me on this one. It’s temporary, and it’s powerful.

For one week, write down everything you do  – literally everything.

• Washing and cooking
• School runs and errands
• Work tasks
• Answering messages
• Even scrolling on your phone

I started with a simple notebook beside my kettle. Every time I switched tasks, I jotted it down with a rough time estimate. No judgment, no editing  – just honest tracking.

At the end of the week, I sat down and reviewed my notes. The patterns were shocking and enlightening in equal measure.

Ask yourself:

• Where did my time actually go?
• Did I make room for rest or enjoyment?
• Are some tasks stealing hours without giving me value in return?

This simple step gives clarity and shows you where your energy is being spent  – and where you can make changes. When I saw that I’d spent nearly seven hours that week responding to non-urgent messages, I nearly cried. 

Seven hours! That was time I could have spent reading, walking, or simply sitting quietly with my thoughts.

Step 2: Identify Your “Time Leaks”

Time leaks are those sneaky little tasks that consume energy but add little value to your life. They’re not always obvious until you track them.

Common time leaks include:

• Endless scrolling on social media (my personal kryptonite)
• Saying “yes” to commitments you don’t actually want to do
• Responding immediately to non-urgent messages
• Perfectionism around tasks that don’t require it

I discovered that my biggest time leak was something I’d never have guessed. 

I was checking my phone within thirty seconds of every transition. Finished making breakfast? Check phone. Kids finally playing quietly? Check phone. Waiting for the kettle? Check phone.

These micro-checks added up to massive chunks of fragmented time where I never fully engaged with anything.

Spotting these leaks is the first step in redirecting your time toward what truly matters to you and your wellbeing.

Step 3: Plan and Prioritize (Without Overwhelm)

Once you know where your time goes, you can start directing it intentionally. This doesn’t mean scheduling every minute  – that’s just another form of overwhelm. It means being thoughtful about your priorities.

Make a list of your important tasks and put them in your calendar. Not a to-do list that makes you feel guilty  – an actual calendar with specific time blocks.

Focus first on activities that require concentration and energy, and schedule them during your most productive hours. For me, that’s mid-morning after the school run. For you, it might be early morning or late evening.

Quick tips that actually work:

• Spend 15 minutes each morning prioritizing your day  – just three main things
• Say “no” to one unnecessary task each week (practice makes this easier!)
• Schedule guilt-free downtime  – your body and mind need it, not as a reward, but as essential maintenance
• Batch similar tasks together (all phone calls in one block, all errands in one trip)

I now have a simple rule: if it matters, it goes in the calendar. If it’s in the calendar, I protect that time fiercely.

Step 4: Protect Your Time and Energy

Reclaiming your time isn’t about doing more  – it’s about choosing what truly matters.

By tracking your time, identifying leaks, and planning intentionally, you send a clear message to yourself: my time and energy are valuable. And when you believe that, others start to respect it too.

I’ve learned to say, “Let me check my calendar and get back to you” instead of immediately saying yes. I’ve learned that “No, that doesn’t work for me” is a complete sentence. I’ve learned that my rest is as important as anyone else’s needs.

Start small. Stay consistent. You don’t need to overhaul your entire life this week. Pick one time leak to address. Schedule one block of protected time. Say no to one thing that doesn’t serve you.

Watch how your days shift from chaotic to calm, from rushed to purposeful  – and fully yours.

Your Time Belongs to You

If you’re reading this and feeling that familiar exhaustion, I want you to know: you’re not failing. 

You’re simply someone who hasn’t yet learned to protect what’s precious  – your time, your energy, your peace.

But you can learn. I did. And the life that’s waiting on the other side of this shift? It’s quieter, calmer, and so much more yours.

This article was first published in The Coach Space: https://thecoachspace.com/blog/reclaim-time-energy-peace/