No one really tells you this: after having a baby, you can feel like a stranger to yourself. Everyone talks about the baby—how they’re feeding, sleeping, growing. But what about you? What about the version of you who feels exhausted, overwhelmed, and quietly wondering, Who am I now?

If you feel lost after having a baby, you’re not alone. And more importantly—you’re not broken. You’re a human being adjusting to one of life’s biggest changes. But here’s the truth: You deserve support for the real you, not just the mother you’ve become.

Why You Feel This Way

Becoming a parent is a profound identity shift. Overnight, your priorities change. Your time isn’t your own. Your body feels different. And while you love your baby, it’s normal to grieve the version of yourself who felt freer, more independent, and more in control.

Your brain is also rewiring itself—literally. Studies show that after birth, areas linked to empathy and vigilance become more active. That’s why you’re hyper-aware of your baby’s every sound—but also why you might feel anxious, forgetful, or emotionally raw.

The problem? Society often celebrates the baby and forgets the mother. You’re expected to bounce back—to your old body, your old energy, your old self. But how can you, when everything has changed?

You Are More Than ‘Mum’

You are still you. The dreams, talents, and identity you had before motherhood didn’t disappear. They may feel buried under nappies and sleepless nights, but they’re still there—and they deserve attention.

Here’s the truth: You cannot pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s essential. And when you feel supported, when you reconnect with you, you become a happier, healthier version of yourself—for both you and your baby.

How to Reclaim Yourself

1. Ask for Help—And Accept It
   You don’t need to do everything alone. Ask for support—whether it’s your partner, family, or a professional. Accepting help doesn’t mean you’re failing; it means you’re human.

2. Find Your Voice Again
   When was the last time you talked about something other than feeding schedules? Call a friend who knows the real you. Share how you’re feeling. Being honest lifts the weight of isolation.

3. Prioritise Small Pleasures
   You don’t need hours of free time to reconnect with yourself. Read a few pages of a book you love. Take a walk alone. Listen to music that reminds you of who you were before “Mum” became your title.

4. Challenge the Guilt
   Feeling guilty for wanting “me time”? Let it go. You can love your baby and still crave space for yourself. The two aren’t opposites—they’re both part of being a whole, balanced person.

5. Seek Professional Support if You Need It
   If the fog doesn’t lift, or you’re struggling with low mood or anxiety, reach out. Postnatal mental health support exists for a reason—because you matter.

You Deserve to Feel Like Yourself Again

Motherhood is life-changing—but it doesn’t mean you have to lose yourself. You are still worthy of care, attention, and joy.

So, if you’re feeling lost right now, take a breath. The real you is still there—and she deserves every bit of love and support you so freely give to everyone else.