Just some thoughts..

You know sometimes it’s hard to do the right thing. I once heard on a podcast that when you are given options, often the thing you want to do least is what you need to do most. These are the times when things or past situations are reflected to you just to see how serious you are about yourself and your growth. We are given opportunities where we are met with decisions that need to be made, and if we do not see the value in these decisions and how much they can weigh if made incorrectly, we often make the wrong one. Usually, we know it after we make it because we don't feel confident about it and we ask others and if not, we feel ashamed. Sometimes lessons need to be learned the hard way but we don't always have to choose to go the hard way. We deserve more. Generationally there are all types of curses/patterns to break. This could be anything from leaving a toxic romantic relationship, leaving a job that is draining you, cutting ties with family that makes you feel like because you are family you have to tolerate them, letting go of friends who continually put themselves in bad situations, etc. Breaking these cycles does not always feel good initially but that does not mean it’s not necessary. If it was easy everyone would do it. Just because it’s hard at first does not mean it will continue to be hard. Also, if you are the first to do it does not mean you should not do it or aren’t meant to. If putting yourself first and prioritizing yourself means losing people, then they were never really your people to begin with. The more you practice using discernment the more confident you become in making decisions. Be the change you want to see in the world and in your family and friends. 

If you need a sign, I hope this is it. Let go of what no longer serves you and be open to new experiences. Challenge your trajectory.